Thekittymeister took this.

Oh yes, for three years ago the beard was born!

(Three years and one day, actually).

In the time since our last gathering together to celebrate, it has been whispered in certain English departments that this beard contains within it the souls of all people alive on this planet — verily, that shaving even one hair would slay a person; one inch, dozens; a goatee would doubtless depopulate a continent.

Neither do I know where its groping, hirsute rampage will end. But those faithful few of us will know it forever beneficent.